Getting Connected at the Roger Maris Cancer Center

Last week, Ken and I met my new medical oncologist, Dr. Snow, at the Roger Maris Cancer Center. We liked her very much. She spent almost two hours with us and answered so many questions. Early this coming Tuesday morning, Ken and I will meet with a radiology oncologist, Dr. Bier. Treatment will likely consist of concurrent chemo and radiation for six weeks. I will receive the radiation treatments daily (M-F) and the chemo once a week.  I will probably start treatments the week following next week.

Please pray that I will tolerate the chemo-radiation well (few side effects) and that my body will respond to the treatment.

Thank you for your prayers and support!

Jehovah-Jireh

I'm finally getting around to a post. It's been a good day, from a massage this morning to wonderful cards in the mail to coming back to work. And great news--I have an appointment at Roger Maris Cancer Center (RMCC) for 8 a.m. tomorrow morning. It will be good to finally get started with treatment. I'm meeting with a medical oncologist (who, I am told, studied at Mayo).

I have felt as though I've been on a roller coaster this past 5 weeks, but suddenly this morning I realized how everything is perfectly in place for me to move forward with treatment in a well-informed manner. The doctor I will see tomorrow has everything--from Mayo, from Sioux Falls, and from Sanford in Fargo--that she needs to get me started. I can only stand back in awe as I see how complete my preparation has been and how God has worked in every circumstance.

I am reminded of one day, shortly after I learned I had cancer, when I became so aware of the extent of God's provision. I received two long e-mails that day, from two women/friends who have cancer. One woman told me about her experiences with Mayo, Rochester (even where to stay and how to get around). The other e-mail contained spiritual encouragement. After reading those e-mails, I was struck by how complete God's provision is (Jehovah-Jireh, another name for God, means "God our Provider"). That day--and the days following, in so many ways--He provided me with practical, physical information as well as spiritual help and encouragement and, of course, much love and concern expressed by those closest to me. He knows exactly what I need and when I need it.

And my God will meet all your needs
according to the riches of his glory in Christ Jesus. 
                                                    Philippians 4:19

I received several wonderful cards today--my favorite, of course, is the picture and message from my 8-year old granddaughter, Ellie. I think I'm going to have to frame it; it's so colorful and encouraging (love those ruby slippers!).  Another card says,

"From one daughter of the King to another . . .
I'm talking to our Father about you.

He says He'll take care of everything."

After reading that card, I told Ken this morning I was feeling like a spoiled princess, so abundantly blessed. I live in a country where I am able to receive the best medical care in the world, and I have a fantastic support system--my husband, children, grandchildren, sisters (five terrific sisters!), a brother, parents and other family members, church friends/family, BSF group members, co-workers, and the list goes on. As if that's not enough, I have nothing to fear, since whatever happens to me has already passed through my Father's hands.

Thanks to everyone and thanks to God for EVERYTHING!

Post-Mayo

4:30 PM   Well, we just returned to our hotel room. The doctors did an exam and found that the cancer has spread to an area that does not respond to surgery. As a result, we are heading back to Fargo to begin radiation and chemo treatments. This is still very treatable and the doctors have assured us that this treatment will have the same level of results as surgery. We feel good that the initial diagnosis is confirmed and that we have explored all avenues of treatment available. The doctors and staff here are awesome, very efficient: I hardly was able to read the newspaper before they had us on the move again.
Sheree says hi to all, but she is very tired and taking a nap.
We had a pastor come in this morning and she read a verse from Psalms that was the very one we read this morning before coming to the hospital. "God is our refuge and strength a very present help in time of trouble." I was struck by the promise of a present help, not some future help or when all else fails help, but present help right when we need it. Praise God.

Ken

Tuesday morning- we are getting ready to go to the hospital for Sheree's surgery. We are ready, God is with us and we are not afraid. We have to be at the hospital at 9:00 and I will attempt to keep all of you posted if I can figure this thing out. We have to go now.

Posted by Ken

At Mayo

Ken and I are so grateful for all the prayers and comfort we are receiving from family and friends. What a blessing you are! And I am so blessed to have Ken with me at every step. He has not left my side.

My Mayo appt. was early this morning. The doctor took time to talk to us about everything and convinced us that surgery is our best option right now (although the doctor in Sioux Falls said she would not recommend surgery). During the surgery, the questionable lymph node can be tested to see if it is positive or negative for cancer, and that will determine the extent of the surgery. If it's negative, it could mean no chemo or radiation. If it's positive, I will probably need some radiation treatments.

Whatever happens, it feels very good to finally be *doing* something. It's been a long month.

Ken and I read a devotion in a book of Charles Spurgeon writings today, and my verse for today is Psalm 46:1-3.

God is our refuge and strength,
  a very present help in trouble,
 therefore we will not fear,
even though the earth be removed,
   and though the mountains
      be carried into the midst of the sea;
   though its waters roar and be
          troubled,
    though the mountains shake
        with its swelling.

He goes on to say, "What could your heart desire or your mind conceive
beyond the blessedness of these assurances?" What a question!

I am so focused right now on my medical situation, but at the same time, I am keenly aware of the disaster in Japan, as we all are. These verses brought that disaster to my mind; it's difficult to imagine living through such a catastrophic event. But even through all of that, God says, He is a "very present help in trouble," not distant and unreachable, for His people. And that promise pertains to whatever the catastrophe--whether caused by some external force (like nature) or an internal force (abnormal cells in my body).

I keep thinking I should be afraid, but it's a little hard to be afraid when I have such a personal, powerful, loving Father. And it's true--what more could my heart desire or my mind conceive?

God be with all of you..see you soon!

Before Mayo

Well, we are off to Mayo tomorrow. I'm ready--it seems I've been doing a lot of waiting lately. I should say "we've" been doing a lot of waiting, since Ken has not left my side. His support, strength, and love go way beyond words.

The doctor at Sioux Falls confirmed my staging at a IIB and gave her recommendations for treatment--concurrent radiation and low-dose chemo followed by internal radiation. From what I can gather from the articles and research I have read (albeit not carefully or with any medical knowledge), it seems like the best course of action. The tumor inside me (I'm not calling it "my tumor" or "my cancer" anymore--those terms seem to imply they belong to me when actually they are foreign to my body, invading it) is a little too large for surgery and they found one positive node, which is cause for concern. A couple of nights ago, I put the PET scan CD in my computer and managed to find images of the tumor and the positive node. It was sobering, but a little empowering to see my "enemies" with my own eyes.

After traveling to Sioux Falls, Ken and I feel sure that God is guiding us to seek a second opinion at Mayo Clinic. One of the things I am trying not to do is focus on percentages or survival rates. This is my personal battle and I have God on my side, who is Jehovah-Rapha--"the God that healeth me." I am thoroughly convinced that God is walking this road with me, that He knows not only where it leads, but He knows even the purpose for the journey.

My reference to a "road" reminds me of a passage in Isaiah that meant so much to me some weeks ago, when cancer first came to be my constant companion. In chapter 42, God says:

I will lead the blind by ways
    they have not known,
along unfamiliar paths I will
           guide them;
I will turn the darkness into light
      before them
 and make the rough places
        smooth.

God goes on to say His servants are those who are blind. He says we "have seen many things, but have paid no attention; our ears are open, but we hear nothing." He calls us to pay close attention, to be obedient, to be aware of our sinful hearts, the fallen world in which we live, and our great need for redemption; to seek His righteousness, and to understand that we were created for His glory. Then, He says,

"When you pass through the
           waters,
  I will be with you;
and when you pass through the
         rivers,
  they will not sweep over you.
When you walk through the fire,
   you will not be burned;
   the flamses will not set you
         ablaze."

I suppose the passage about God leading the blind along unfamiliar paths resonated with me because, at that time (and even now sometimes), I felt much like a blind person on an unfamiliar path, stumbling along in the darkness. I have been studying Isaiah all year with my BSF group, and I have been truly awed by how much the material applies to my life, even though it was directed towards the Israelites and their struggles with God, their enemies, one another, themselves. Human struggles. The study has caused me to try to see my own struggles--and even my existence--in a different light..not from my perspective, but from God's. Difficult, but I have had glimpses of understanding. God's Word amazes me.

Ken and I are traveling to Sioux Falls today to visit with a doctor there. I am looking forward to learning more about my condition.

As we are leaving, I keep thinking about what Erik reminded me of yesterday--God is in control no matter how I am feeling. That was a good word for me yesterday--and for today and for tomorrow.

I'm so grateful that Ken is with me and that God goes with us.

Remembering Thursday, February 10, 2011

I first found out I had cervical cancer on February 10, 2011, a Thursday. Ken and I were in San Diego, where he was attending a conference. We were staying at a downtown hotel--the Omni, and that morning I had gone down for breakfast, which was provided for the wives as well as the men attending the conference. I went through the buffet and joined a few women sitting around a table. I didn't know any of them at the time. Renae was one of the women there, a woman I came to know fairly well in just a couple of days. Renae was talking about how she lost an infant son some years ago to a disease and how her second son needed a liver transplant when he was 13 months old. I heard her say how thankful she was that God had given her those 13 months with her son before discovering he had a liver disease, knowledge that changed their lives. Her son is 20 now and serving the Lord, even though the doctors said initially that he would not live long.

I was impressed and felt drawn to her. It's all too easy for us to become angry at God or come to the conclusion there is no God or purpose in life when something bad happens to us. Renae was expressing thanks to God and her faith in Him was evident, all of which put her experiences (some very difficult) in a perspective apart from the world's perspective (reminded me of the light and darkness metaphor so prevalent in God's Word). I was compelled to ask her if she was a Christian and was not surprised when she told me she was. To make a long story short, our visit resulted in me telling her I was waiting for a call from a doctor and expressing my anxiety to her. We met and talked several times during the next couple of days, and I was blessed to have a Christian woman to talk with, especially one with the faith and experiences Renae had. After I learned about my diagnosis, I was able to visit with Renae and talk through some of my initial shock and anxiety. I know Renae will remain a friend.

I am confident that God brought Renae to me for such a time as this. Praise Him!

"All the days ordained for me
were written in your book
before one of them came to be.
How precious to me are your
thoughts, O God!"
     Psalm 139:16-17