A Living Hope

Still thinking about Light and my spiritual struggle. And I ran across this excerpt from a very old book by St. John of the Cross called _The Dark Night of the Soul_. It's been awhile since I read the book. (I think I just read part of it--it's a little tough going.) But this paragraph jumped out at me one day, and I sent it to someone in Facebook. Ran across it recently in my message history, and I'm still intrigued by it. (St. John of the Cross was a Carmelite priest, friar, mystic, who lived between 1542 and 1591. I believe he wrote the book--or at least part of it--while imprisoned.)

I am constantly amazed at the parallels between the physical world we live in and the spiritual realm, between physical truths/laws and spiritual truths, and, perhaps mostly, between our earthly/bodily journey and the journey of our soul. Here, St. John describes so well the difficulty with which we pursue spiritual truth and light, while we are bound by--and, thus, naturally apt to interpret our existence and experiences through--our human limitations (physical, mental, etc.) and fallen state (i.e., sin); our bodily senses (what we can physically see, hear, taste, smell, touch); and the external physical world and nature, with its laws and constancy, that we interact with, live with as long as we are alive.

Oh wretched lot of this our life, where we get to know the truth with so much difficulty! since the clearest and most radiant (light) and truth itself, is for us most dark and doubtful; and for this reason we fly from it, being that we have most need of; and that which glitters and fills our eyes with luster, we embrace and follow after, being that which is worst for us, and makes us fall at every step. How great is the fear and danger man lives in, since the very physical light of his eyes which leads him, is the first to dazzle and betray him on his journey towards God. So that, if he would clearly perceive the road whereby he travels, he must, of force, keep his eyes fast shut and go in darkness, so as to be safe from the domestic enemies of his household, which are his own senses and faculties. 

 How ironic this idea seems--that to follow hard after God and His light we must "go in darkness," suppressing our physical senses that deceive us and draw us away from God. We must surrender our will and seek Him and His will for us, embracing (joyfully?) whatever circumstances He brings into our lives.

But, my human nature argues, I am so much in the world! And I so desire and enjoy being comfortable, having my family close, being in my home and having my "things" around me, feeling good physically and mentally, living in a safe environment, having enough money to live comfortably and continue to buy more things, etc. It truly is difficult to put the Lord and the things of God first while living in such circumstances. After all, why would I choose a path of "darkness," to suppress my desires for the things that make me "happy" in this world? And why look upon as my enemies the very possessions that enable me to enjoy this life--my "senses and faculties"?

The answers to my questions, of course, are in God's Word. John tells us not to love the things of the world and reminds us of the temporary nature of the world we love and cherish so much. 

From I John 2...
 ¹⁵ Do not love the world or the things in the world. If anyone loves the world, the love of the Father is not in him. ¹⁶For all that is in the world—the desires of the flesh and the desires of the eyes and pride in possessions—is not from the Father but is from the world. ¹⁷And the world is passing away along with its desires, but whoever does the will of God abides forever.

Although not difficult to read and even to grasp with my human intellect, this command, I find, is not easy to put into practice. And, I believe, not only "not easy," but not possible without faith and without God's Holy Spirit to guide and to help me.

Having recently read in  the Mayo book on women's cancers the chapter on recurring cervical cancer (I had avoided that chapter until now), I must admit I experienced some uneasiness (fear?) and discomfort when I read about the (limited) options available to women when this type of cancer recurs; I was especially daunted by the descriptions of the extensive surgeries that might be done to prolong life, even to prolong it for a short time. When I think about how I struggled through the not-so-difficult and not-so-long treatment program I recently finished--and remember my response to it (not always thankful)--I can't help but wonder (just "wonder"--not "dwell on") how I would fare in more dire circumstances. Would I continue to trust God, to praise Him, to thank Him in all circumstances? I sincerely hope so. I choose today not to worry about the future, to trust God to give me the strength I need in whatever circumstances He allows in my life. And I choose to believe that, in answer to many prayers, He has healed me completely.

As I seek wisdom, God's Spirit will enlighten me. In Proverbs, wisdom (personified) is given much attention:

Wisdom is better than anything I desire. Wisdom calls:
Take my instruction instead of silver,
   and knowledge rather than choice gold,
¹¹for wisdom is better than jewels,
   and all that you may desire cannot compare with her.

We don't have to guess what wisdom is. Many passages in the Word clearly tell us that the fear of the Lord is wisdom, and knowledge of the Lord and to shun evil is understanding/insight (Job 28:28; Psalm 111:10; Proverbs 1:7; Proverbs 9:10 are a few.)

I love Isaiah's prophecy about Jesus in Isaiah 11:2:

And the Spirit of the LORD shall rest upon him,the Spirit of wisdom and understanding,the Spirit of counsel and might,the Spirit of knowledge and the fear of the LORD.

Essentially, what I am seeking is wisdom from God: wisdom to live in this world, with all its vain glories, while at the same time to glorify God with my life, to truly follow Him and worship Him in Spirit and in Truth. . .wisdom to embrace God's will for me and, as Paul learned, to be content in every circumstance: "I know how to be brought low, and I know how to abound. In any and every circumstance, I have learned the secret of facing plenty and hunger, abundance and need" (Philippians 4:12).

The Bible contains much direction and encouragement for people like me, people who are seeking God. In 2 Corinthians 4:18, Paul tells us to "fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen, since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal." And, as blessed and wonderful as we find this world, Paul reminds us in 1 Corinthians 2:19 that "[n]o eye has seen, no ear has heard, no mind has conceived what God has prepared for those who love him."

As I am writing this, I am reminded of Fanny Crosby. I have never read a bio about her, but I've heard about her over the years. She lived between 1820-1915 and wrote over 8,000 hymns, including many well-loved hymns like "Blessed Assurance" and "Pass Me Not, O Gentle Savior." She was extensively and passionately involved in mission work during her life, giving most of her money away. And she did all this while being blind since infancy. She recognized the blessing in her trial. One quote that is attributed to her:

"It seemed intended by the blessed providence of God that I should be blind all my life, and I thank him for the dispensation. If perfect earthly sight were offered me tomorrow I would not accept it. I might not have sung hymns to the praise of God if I had been distracted by the beautiful and interesting things about me."

My faith is in a living hope..

I Peter 1:3-9: "Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ! In his great mercy he has given us new birth into a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead, and into an inheritance that can never perish, spoil or fade—kept in heaven for you, who through faith are shielded by God’s power until the coming of the salvation that is ready to be revealed in the last time.

In this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while you may have had to suffer grief in all kinds of trials. These have come so that your faith—of greater worth than gold, which perishes even though refined by fire—may be proved genuine and may result in praise, glory and honor when Jesus Christ is revealed. Though you have not seen him, you love him; and even though you do not see him now, you believe in him and are filled with an inexpressible and glorious joy, for you are receiving the goal of your faith, the salvation of your souls.  

So thankful today for God's Word, for godly examples, and for His concern with my spiritual growth.

__________________________
Note: Here is the poem "Dark Night of the Soul." The book expounds on each stanza. Consider the thought, "my house being now all stilled."

Stanzas Of The Soul

1. One dark night,
fired with love's urgent longings
- ah, the sheer grace! -
I went out unseen,
my house being now all stilled.

2. In darkness, and secure,
by the secret ladder, disguised,
- ah, the sheer grace! -
in darkness and concealment,
my house being now all stilled.

3. On that glad night,
in secret, for no one saw me,
nor did I look at anything,
with no other light or guide
than the one that burned in my heart.

4. This guided me
more surely than the light of noon
to where he was awaiting me
- him I knew so well -
there in a place where no one appeared.

5. O guiding night!
O night more lovely than the dawn!
O night that has united
the Lover with his beloved,
transforming the beloved in her Lover.

6. Upon my flowering breast
which I kept wholly for him alone,
there he lay sleeping,
and I caressing him
there in a breeze from the fanning cedars.

7. When the breeze blew from the turret,
as I parted his hair,
it wounded my neck
with its gentle hand,
suspending all my senses.

8. I abandoned and forgot myself,
laying my face on my Beloved;
all things ceased; I went out from myself,
leaving my cares
forgotten among the lilies.

Here is a link to the poem and text of the book: http://www.karmel.at/ics/john/dn.html