I want to start writing in my blog again. During the past months, I have found it difficult both to write and to take time to write. I am so easily distracted from writing or meditating when I become caught up in daily activities of work, relationships, my physical health, my home, time for family. However, I think the benefits I receive from writing make it a worthy pursuit--so I am determined, with God's help, to make it a part of my life.
Time constraints are always with me. Now, more than ever before, I am keenly aware of the finite, temporal nature of our lives and of our fragile, vulnerable physical bodies. How little time we have on this earth. (The other day I was thinking about how great it will be in heaven to not have to think about time anymore!)
To start writing again now seems a little unreasonable, since my life will only get busier.
--I have been working at NDSU 32 hours/week for the past year. Starting tomorrow (Monday, April 16), I return to 40 hours/week.
--And I am committed to the Livestrong program, which I started a few weeks ago. Livestrong is a wellness program for cancer survivors, funded with grants from Lance Armstrong and implemented through the YMCA. For three months, I go to the Y twice a week and meet with a small group of other cancer survivors and three trainers. The program involves exercise, but also covers other wellness topics like relaxation. One thing that makes it even more worthwhile is that I am able to have a support person attend with me. Kayla agreed to go with me, and I appreciate her support and companionship. It's not always easy to get there at 5:30 on Tuesday and Thursday, but I have only missed one so far. I am amazed at how much better I feel when I exercise, and it's a terrific stress reliever.
--My BSF Bible study is every Monday night through the middle of May. I have not put very much time into my study this year, but in spite of my sometimes lackadaisical commitment, the Lord has blessed me much through this year's study.
So many things I want to do besides these commitments--visit my mom at the nursing home, spend time with family (my grown-up children are terrific and grandkids can cure most anything), spend time with my (fantastic) husband.
For a little while, earlier this spring, I was thinking about becoming involved in some kind of outreach ministry. (Maybe, for now, it's enough just to think about it.)
I always say I don't have time for extra things, but since the beginning of this year, I have been convicted about how I spend my time, especially in terms of what I do--or do not do--for Christ. I have never been much for setting new year's resolutions, but maybe my focus on time early this year related to the new year. It was not only a new year, but also it had been almost a year since I received the news about having cancer (Feb. 10, 2011). For Ken and I, this past year has been a roller coaster of ups and downs, between the cancer treatment and recovering from treatment, Ken's mom and my mom each entering a nursing home with serious physical conditions.
I suppose with the start of a new year, it's natural to take stock of where we are at in our lives--and I suppose that is, essentially, what I am doing. Not only thinking about where I am at, but also where I am going...the path I am on. I have been so impressed lately by fact that we never stay in one place--we are always changing, growing, always moving towards God or away from him. It's what living is all about. God's Word confirms it.
It seems lately every time I open the Bible, I come across some reference to paths. Since the Lord is our guide and we are to seek his direction, it is not surprising that "paths" would be a common reference in his Word. My verse for 2010 was from Jeremiah 6:16:
Stand at the crossroads and look;Implies action on our part--stand, ask, walk--and a promise--we will find rest.
ask for the ancient paths,
ask where the good way is, and
walk in it, and you will
find rest for your souls.
Last year, on my cancer journey, Isaiah 42:16 was so precious to me:
And I will lead the blind in a way that they do not know,There were times last year when we felt as if we were blind, walking on an unfamiliar path. God was faithful, however, and now it seems there were more times of trust and not only knowing, but sensing God was guiding us (no doubt thanks to so many prayers from friends and family and others).
in paths that they have not known I will guide them.
I will turn the darkness before them into light,
the rough places into level ground.
These are the things I do, and I do not forsake them.
Here's a verse that resonates with me this year, again referring to paths:
From Hebrews 12:
12 Therefore lift your drooping handsAs part of the Bible study I am in, we listen to a lecture each week on what we have been studying. One week, our teacher asked us some hard questions--
and strengthen your weak knees,
13 and make straight paths for your feet,
so that what is lame may not be put out of joint
but rather be healed.
Are we in tune with God's voice? How are we impacting the world? And how do we respond to change (in terms of God leading us in different directions?
Good questions. We are studying the life and ministry of Paul and about the early church as a whole and the individual churches he planted. One morning, reading in I Thessalonians, I was impacted by verses 4-5, where Paul says, " . . . we know . . . that he [God] has chosen you, because our gospel came to you not simply with words, but also with power, with the Holy Spirit and with deep conviction.” It made me see something I already know, but in a fresh way. I know this word is true from personal experience--there is no question in my mind that God chose me, because words alone did not--and could not have--changed me. I know it was the power of the Holy Spirit 32 years ago that revealed to me my need for Jesus Christ, and my desire to continue and to grow in Him is also by his power.
I want so much to influence those around me for God--sometimes, I think I get too caught up in thinking about what I should say to them or what I should do. I do well to remind myself that there is nothing I can do under my own power that can win others to Christ. It is only with the power of the Holy Spirit that I must endeavor to become involved in God’s work.
God is faithful; he will not lead me somewhere and leave me. I believe he creates desires in us, and He is faithful to fulfill those desires as we are obedient to his leading.
May He help me make level paths for my feet...
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